I think my Personal Trainer is trying to kill me!

I started my new schedule last night and suspect Corinne takes pleasure in inflicting pain and humiliation on us, lol. What a kick ass workout. It was upper body and left me completely taxed. I tried higher weights last night and had to move down quickly on some of them.

To give a feel for how this taxed me, during warm-up I did 5 regular push-ups just because. That's on the toes, baby. By the third superset I was asked to do 10 wide pup's. I could only do 8 on the first set, 7 on the second set, and by the third set it was obvious that 1 inch on each was all I could do or end up with face on the floor. All of these were done on my knees. Next upper body routing I'll switch to the wall - so humiliating.

By the 4th superset I was expected to do bearcrawls. Ladies, I've done these at home in the past - a lot of these, but doing them in the gym is another thing. Suck it up and get on with it though. As these came at the end of the last superset they were less than eloquent.

Oh well, my upper body is taxed and I expect to feel crazy pain by tomorrow.

Tired and a bit Blah

Seems like I'm a bit over-tired this week. Working late the past couple of nights and not getting enough rest or exercise, so I've been keeping the calories low. Unfortunately the past couple of days have involved a bit of sodium-filled frozen dinners, so I'm thinking of waiting until tomorrow or Friday for weigh-in. As this is the month-end weigh-in I'd like it not to reflect the 2.6lbs I lost last week as water retention:0) It's also measurement week, so the truth will come out and I'm just not sure I'm ready for it.

So, I have debated how to go about my exercise week since I'm starting to run our of time.

Mon: was day off
Tues: was day off
Wed: I'm thinking cardio night and skipping WI (see above)
Thurs: upper body ST followed by token cardio
Fri: lwr body ST followed by token cardio
Sat: Cardio morning
Sun: upper body ST followed by token cardio

This is a week off for dance/yoga as we're between sessions now. Next week is onto the last leg of the year and by the end of May it'll all be over but the recital, which I'm not in. But, the girls will be. I'm thinking of taking J out next year and putting her in skating and Sparks instead. We can always switch her back as the sessions run fairly similar. I'm just tired of trying to coerce them into doing things they don't want to do, but do want them to try things and be active, so hopefully we'll find J's niche. Ci loves dance and wants to do ballet next year instead of tap. Hiphop and Jazz are givens. She needs 3 classes to compete, so there you go.

Deflated

Have you ever had one of those moments where your resolve was tested - and you failed? Of course, we all have. Every time this happens you feel a tiny bit more deflated, like the fat chick deep inside of you has won some small victory.
On Saturday night Mark asked me if I wanted a glass of wine, and I did, so I had one. I enjoyed it and accepted his offer of a second glass. After that, I was satisfied and done. When he came with the bottle to automatically pour me a third I graciously said, "No thank you. I'm done." That should have been the end of that. I'm sad to report that it was not.
See, I really didn't want another drink and what followed left me feeling week and violated. Seriously, there is always more to a situation than just the situation. There are the underlying feelings. It's not about 150 calories or weakened resolve. It's about more than that, and if you've every been there, you'll understand.
Mark became immediately offended and began spouting off about how there was only one more glass in the bottle, that I should just drink it and be done with it. I was tired and just gave up. He was gleeful as he poured my third glass of wine and handed it over. Joyful that he had a 'drinking partner' as he consumed another beer. For some reason this always makes him happy. For me, I think it's sad that drinking a beer brings him so much joy.
I did not enjoy this last wine, thinking "3pts down the drain" - which is of course where I should have put it, but that would have left Mark deflated and upset, so I sucked it back. Then I felt tired and ended up falling asleep on the couch. I was still tired the next day with a headache always on the edge of development. You know the kind - you can quench it with a Tylenol and some water, but there's that slight pressure letting you know that it's still there. A cold hand on the forehead felt so soothing.
So, what is the big deal? I had too much to drink and paid for it the next day. It was 3 pts - so what? The point was, I thought I was supported and I feel betrayed that my first 'No thank you' was not respected. I feel deflated that I worried more about Marks feelings than he did about mine. I feel deflated and worry that it's easier to just give in to bad habits than fight against them.
What am I going to do? I'm going to show Mark this post. I'm going to tell him that support is repecting my 'No thank you's' the first time I say them and that I'm just not interested in being his drinking partner anymore. I'm going to also tell him, while I'm at it, that he doesn't need to tell everyone that asks that I've gone to Weight Watchers, but just that I'm working hard at being healthy and leave it at that.
I'm also going to make sure I'm rested enough to fight future assaults when they come. Why can't people just accept 'No' as 'No'?

Weight Loss and Other Cool Stuff

I made it to weigh-in last night. I'm now 1.8lbs from goal. That's down 2.6 from the last weigh-in 3 weeks ago. Woohoo. So, I have 3 weeks to make 150 - that was the date I set for myself that I was going to just take the number on the scale. Of course, I'll likely wear shorts and a tank top that night even if it's freezing out if I'm not there yet.


Another cool thing is I realized I've been 'tucking' lately, as in my shirts. Not every day, but as in today I'm wearing a jean skirt and a top I had given up for dead long ago - it's form fitting and tucked, baby.


I took a picture of me and my running pardner, Baloo, the other night. Will post once I find the connector cord to the PC (yeah, I thought it would still be plugged into the PC too...)


Oh, and today is a great day for planning your weekend. Do you have any challenges or events scheduled? How are you going to deal with them. I have my menu planned and we'll be scheduling dinners for next week tonight or tomorrow night so I can build my shopping list for the weekend. Tonight is Dance/Yoga class - I'm going to try it out with the sneakers I'm trying out this week.


And, anyone drink protein powder? Have you tried BSN Lean Desert? It's incredible. My favourite is the Banana Nut. This stuff is incredibly delicious. If interested, I also recommend purchasing from bodybuilding.com - they're top notch.


Take care ya'll and have a fabulous Thursday.

Focus on Knees

I mentioned last week about some knee issues I had been experiencing. I went last night for a shoe fitting with the orthopedic. I'm trying out a pair of Saucony's this week - so that's one step.

I've modified my workout slightly to incorporate the stability ball and lower impact moves. I've also chosen an 8-week low impact routine to start next week once I complete my last ST session for my current 12-week routine. I have also video'd the squat moves I think are culprit and am going to send them to Corinne for analysis.

I didn't exercise on Monday - worked late. I did ST at home last night so I could wear my tighter-fitting clothes and Mark could tape some of my moves. This way, Corinne can actually see where my knees are. Planning to work late tonight and will probably get to a WW meeting in the city vs. going tonight.

I find it ironic that a year ago I was walking around very overweight to moderate obese and that I end up having issues when I get to a healthy zone and try become physically active. Oh well, I'm sure it'll all work out - this isn't enough to take me out of the game yet.

That's all for today. Hope everyone is doing well and I'll check in on the blogs once this latest deadline is met. We also had a new girl start yesterday and I have to prepare some work for her to do this morning.

Cheers.

I'd like to thank my friends and family...

Swizzlepop has bestowed upon ME and award because she thinks I'm cool. I think she totally rocks and want to trade places we live. Well, that's because she's in Cali where it's warm and sunny and I'm in Nova Scotia where it's cold and damp, but that's another story.

Swizz was one of my first on-line contacts. Through the months I added and deleted several for various reasons, some stopped blogging while others I simply had little in common with or were de-motivating. But Swizz is one of those bloggers that I am so glad I found as a friend - when she's down you just want to bring her back up and when she's up you want to hang on for the ride. She's got a lot to be up about, being in maintenance, living in the sunny state and married to a total hottie. She's also totally gorgeous. I'm not jealous though - really, I'm not - well, maybe a wee bit - but in a 'good for her' way, you know.

Anyway, enough about Swizz - this award was for me, lol. And I get to pass it on to those who I think are deserving. Well, I think today I feel like handing it on to those who are honest and totally inspiring - who try to incorporate new and healthy activities into their routines. A few special mentions:

Randi - Randi is just too cool. She's a straight shooter and has gotten fit simply by eating healthy and exercising. She uses common sense and has worked hard to figure this out on her own. She exercises by doing a wide range of activities and is totally inspiring. I've even forgiven her for dissing WW on occassion:)

Mousearoo - Marie is very comical - I presume she intends to be. Her and I are from two different worlds (I'm a middle-aged prude, lol and she's a big-city girl). I love her outlook on life and reading about her adventures of running, working, and living a life of WW maintenance in the big TO.

Diana - Diana is one of the most positive, upbeat bloggers I've ever read. She is constantly evaluating her journey in a positive light. She has done amazingly well and I'm sure will continue to do so. For a feel-good read, you really ought to visit Scale Junkie. Swizz also nominated her, but she's worth a double-take, and since Swizz has a private site I wanted to leave Diana's link for YOU.

Barbie - Steph was also nominated last week. But, since she's my dear friend and I love her so, I need to give her special mention here. Love you - don't change. Well, change, but only by eating more regularly - as in breakfast every day and stuff like that. And by accepting that you're as awesome as I think you are.

Other excellent blogs? If I've listed it to the left, it's excellent. They ALL get an award. You should visit them and say Hi.

Top 'O the Morning to Ya

Well, I decided to change my countdown and just realized the next 'fun day' is St. Patty's. Oh, how we love St. Patty's here in the Maritimes. I suppose the little Mouse will be celebrating her heritage in the big TO as well next month.

I also watched a little Irish legend hallmark video the other night with the family which also put me in the mood. It was called "The magical legend of the leprechauns" as was very good. Had some nice Irish dancing at one point, which makes me think of Zazu. It's been a couple weeks since I visited her blog, so I popped in to say Hi.

So, I guess I better stock up on some food colouring to be sure we have some green stuff when the big day arrives - then hide it. My 9yo has a tendency to 'steal' it and my skewers because she desperately wants a calligraphy set. I guess these combined satisfies her created needs.

Finally, apparently there was a 'storm' on Wednesday (some high winds, yes - I don't understand the weather warning systems anymore) so that WW was cancelled. I found this out by a sign posted AFTER I had driven there. SO, no WI again this week.

Happy Heart Day

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope everyone has a great day. I even got a valentines in my mail box this morning - a Popples one. I braved the bake-fest last night, too. Actually, the 9yo did all the baking. The made heart-shaped sugar cookies for the 4yo to take to daycare today and some fudge brownies for her own recess snacks. She's really getting the hang of mixes and will be ready to move on to something else soon.

Hubby helped them out with all of their valentines earlier this week and they took them all in yesterday, so I've really had to do nothing except avoid the baking last night.

As a Valentines present from Canada Post my Lean Desert has arrived today. I ordered it through bodybuilding.com and, even with the crazy international delivery fees, it worked out to less than half price what I can get it for in the stores. Thank you Americans for keeping your dollar low for me:) I think I'll have to try Chocolate fudge tonight.

I've nothing crazy planned for tonight. Ci and I both have dance and I suggested we do a nice family candle-lit dinner tomorrow night - I'm thinking salmon, brown rice and brocolli. Will run it by hubby again as he tends to focus on 'the day' rather than the event, if you know what I mean.

So, I hope everyone enjoys a warm bath, a candle-lit dinner, a glass of red wine, or whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy today or over the weekend. Happy Valentines Day.

The Elliptical seemed like a good idea...

until I decided to stop.

It didn't.

Luckily I kept my balance as it lifted me up on one foot. The other 2 (thank goodness there were only 2, and they seemed really nice) people in the cardio room looked on in shock as I tried to maintain balance as the evil machine kept taking me up, down, up, down on one leg until it got tired. "Whoa, I've, ummm, never used this machine before." The lady said she couldn't use those because they bothered her knee. Woohoo - what a great excuse to ditch the machine. "Really? My knee has been bothering me for a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll try the spin bike. I've never used it, either."

They suggested I book my appointment with a personal trainer (the free 1 hour session) and learn how to use the various machines. Um, Ya. So glad I didn't fall off - those things are high.

Speaking of knees - I'm gonna go get fitted for some new sneaks. Hoping that's all that's wrong with my knee. Maybe at noon today - there's a Running Room just down the road.

I joined a GYM!

I figured since everyone else was getting a piece of Gym, I needed some of him too. So, I checked out a couple of the local Gym's (apparently he's so in demand that more than one is needed in each community) and decided that the one with the $30 admin fee (vs. $200) would temporarily get to spend time with moi.

So, my Gym is nothing fancy. No aeorbics room or cardio classes offered. What is offered is machines, free weights, some stability balls and 1 step-up (just one - yikes). Also crammed into the cardio area are several machines.

I've decided to stick with my at-home workouts for the next 2 weeks. The routine I'm currently doing is quite challenging for me. After that I'm ready for a new schedule and will incorporate some of the machines. I did a short tm routine after ST on Saturday and went back for 35 more minutes on the tm last night. The routine is one that involves side shuffles and walking backwards on the tm. The back of my legs are tender today. If you want to try something new, slow down the tm and increase the incline. Then turn yourself around by placing feet on the sides. Good times, good times. A couple minutes backwards then a minute forwards. Lots of good times and some strange looks. My gym is obviously very conservative.

Plan for this week:
Monday: ST tonight with 20 minutes on tm (Baby's Got Back - see above)
Tuesday: Gonna try a 20 minute HIIT routine on elliptical or bike
Wednesday: DOR (Day of Rest) and WW weigh-in meeting
Thursday: Dance/yoga - 90 minute low-intensity session
Friday: DOR
Saturday: ST in morning with 20 minutes on tm (Around the World)
Sunday: 50 minute cardio routine (TBA)

We wrote out some suppers, but I have to plan my food for this week. There's a lot of leftovers right now in the fridge, so hubby is going to have to figure some of that out.

Have a great week.

Lent and Weigh-In

Anyone else doing lent? I see some have posted about it and given it some thought. I have too.

My favourite 'give up' was a few years ago. I worked in this office that had a Tim Hortons coffee maker machine (industrial) and would buy boxes of Tim's coffee packets from a local Tim's shop. We also stocked blend - a weakness for me. For a small office we went through a lot of coffee. The only rule was if there was less than a cup left in the pot you put on a new pot. Oh, lent also falls smack in the middle of tax season and this was a public accounting office where OT is required from the end of Jan to the end of April.
Year 1: Drink lots of coffee Mon-Fri. Maybe 2-3 cups at home on Sat. Get headache during church service EVERY Sun.
Year 2: Give up coffee for lent. Struggle through week 1. Breeze though weeks 2-5. Dream about the end of lent for week 6. Go back to drinking coffee the day after lent is over, but be sure to keep servings to 3 or so a day. No churchy headaches that year.

I've never really gone back to drinking coffee through an IV, and I still love having 1-2 cups per day. But, at 1pt each (sorry, I still need my whole milk in it) I can't justify any more than that. So, I guess the lent thing worked by quitting a bad habit cold turkey and it gave me perspective to control this addiction. It has been about 6 years since this one.

For this year I have made so many, many healthy changes in my life already. Can you believe it's been 8.5 months? But in becoming more 'selfish' about making sure I have the right foods for me and 'selfish' about making sure I have the right tools and time for exercise I have missed out on some family time. I do tell my kids that I love them everyday, but I've noticed that Daddy gets more cuddles than I do from the 4yo (granted he's been home for the past 2 months) and sometimes the only kiss the 9yo gets is when I tuck her in (a nightly request on her part). Last night I made sure to give everyone a hug and kiss and to tell them that I loved them. It felt a bit like a checklist, which is not good, but checklists become habits after a while. Don't get me wrong - I often spend time with my kids and do give them love and affection - it's just that sometimes we do forget to do those little things that mean the most when we are wrapped up in our day-to-day lives. I also want to spend more one-on-one time with each of them because quality time is hard to slot in - it most often comes from quantity time.

As for Weigh-In, I didn't go last night. You may recall that the Fire hall has torne out the bathrooms, so I went potty before leaving work last night. Then I ran to my car and my pants slipped a bit since I must have released 2lbs or more of liquid I swear. When I sat down they were a little uncomfortable because of them slipping to that pudgy area below the belly button. Anyhoo, I had to adjust and the whole experience left me feeling skinny. Some of the thoughts that went through my head as I debated whether to go to meeting or home:

• My pants slipped and are so much loser. I don't need WW scale to tell me I lost. I KNOW I did.
• (Warning: some Fat Girl Thinking coming out) Even if I did gain weight, that would just bring me down. I feel good right now and skinny. I don't need WW scale to change that feeling.
• I have 3 missed meeting passes in my purse. We're still waiting for some money to come in and I'm out of coupons. I really don't feel like paying WW since I've eaten on plan this week and have my plan for the next week all laid out. I'll use one of my passes for this week while I'm still a paying member. Use it or lose it.

SO, Did I lose? My analogue at home is still hovering the 70kg mark and I can't determine decimals of losses/gains, which seems to be where I am lately. Basically, a bit of a stall it looks like, but obviously I am losing inches still. I'm thinking about trying to cut back my menu another point on average each day to see what happens, but will wait and see what WW scale has to say next week first. I am going to give myself to mid-March to meet my 150 goal, then may consider changing my goal and just continue losing on my own.

Why do you want to lose weight?

Oh, I'm not getting all philosophical on you. Roni is.

So, Roni has put this out there and has received a tonne of responses. I decided to post here to share with everyone my response.

Last spring I was worried about my upcoming 'annual' - you know the one - feet in stirrups and a bunch of bloodwork for all the preventable diseases in your family history. Well, I was nervous about this for a couple of reasons. First, I've known my doctor for a while and he's watched as year-after-year I've packed on the pounds. He sat with me as I cried after my Dad passed away and has always been very kind to me and my family. I was embarrassed for him to see me heavier yet again. I was also worried for the first time about test results. Thyroid, diabetes and other health issues could really negatively impact my life. My heart palpitations had started acting up again. A diabetic diagnosis would mean not being able to get life insurance in the future on loans, etc. Yeah, I was nervous. It was triggered by wanting to get HEALTHY.

Then there was the move to get back to the old me. The 140-145lb me. What I discovered was that, the 170lb losing weight me was more healthy than the old 140-145lb me. Now I entered the vanity zone. For the first time in a long time I wanted clothes that showed off my bootie. I wanted bras that 'lifted me higher' (why do I want to sing that?). But, health still plays a huge part.

At 160 lbs I discovered that, although my frame had shrunk, I was still the general shape I was when I was bigger. I could hide this form under some clothes, but the thighs are thicker than they should be and the tummy still rides high. I had been reading Phit-n-Phat and finally accepted that exercise had to be a part of the equation. Again, it's about health. It's about a level of health that I have never known before. It's about more than health, but fitness. It's about being the best 'me' I can be, physically. This has given me renewed motivation and energy. It has allowed me to think about the possibilities for the future.

I look at many of the bloggers I consider my friends and realize that those who are truly successes have embraced exercise, be it running (the Mouse), spinning (Steph), yoga (Swizz), weights (Randi), rock wall climbing (Roni) or just rockin' the cardio. These people don't do just these exercises alone - these are just the ones I know them best for. For me, I love to lift. I also want to jog and will attempt C25K again this spring. Of course I enjoy dancing and I have introduced some yoga this year. I'm not that good at any of this stuff - but I'm getting better every day. I have stopped thinking of walks with the kids as exercise and have come to a place where I have the energy to go and enjoy the walk. This is where I wanted to be.

BUT, there's more. I also want MORE energy. I want it ALL. I want a crazy body that men drool over too. Hope I'm not asking for too much.

Checking out the Blogs today

Popped around and read a few blogs today. Had to check in on Swizz, Steph, Tina, Becky and the Mouse - to name a few. Didn't really post comments today - just sort of in a reading mood. Been busy lately and miss ya'll. Will catch up more soon. Oh, and for those who don't know, Dizzy made another blog post and has names for the boogers.

Back to work week

Wow, the weekend FLEW by. I really wish there was more of it. After the usual Saturday morning (sleep-in, breakfast, dance class for the LO, lunch) we decided to pack up and head into mil's. Hubby thought we'd take her out to the Big Stop for supper so she could order fish and chips. I got a club house and packaged half the sandwich. All-in-all the service sucked and if it were up to me, the waitress wouldn't have received a tip. She cut me off when I tried to order for the table and took orders directly from the kids (who DOES that?), she didn't bring colouring pages or crayons even after we inquired about the cost of the Doodles (she didn't know and we could go ask out in the store). Afterwards I noticed crayons at another table that had been vacated. She also 'presumed' that the man was paying and gave the cheque directly to him. This was it for me and I just handed him my credit card and asked him to deal so I wouldn't say something embarassing in front of mil. Hubby said he was resentful even giving her $3. However, the food was good and we enjoyed each other and the kids were great.

Mil's fishtank has been leaking through the filter. I think there's floor damage now. Mark and his sister are supposedly going to get rid of everything on Tuesday. Nasty business, fish are.

Took the kids to the playground yesterday and for a walk on a little nature loop. The 9yo fell frequently and her knee is a bit banged up today. We spent a lot of time trying to break the ice up off mil's driveway. It was downright dangerous when we got there. We complained to sil about the VON coming in and getting hurt. Well, she had little sympathy being a VON herself and informed us this was nothing. We felt it was dangerous to us, our children, and left mil as pretty much a shut-in, so away we banged and salted.

Got in a good workout last night. The 9yo tried to work it too with her 1lb weights. She didn't do too badly. It was nice to be home again.

Need a New Doo - What do you think.

This is the original short from last summer. My hair is longer now, but at that in-between stage. I decided to test some different styles and colours out using http://www.hairmixer.com/. This site allows you to super-impose your face into those of celebrities, so the options are a little limited. I don't make a pretty Tom Cruise or Oprah, but these are some of my fav's.

I've gone blonde before, but don't know about this blonde until closer to summer. I've given serious thought to bringing this into the hairdresser and telling her this is what I want to get to next. I think it's totally doable within a couple of months. I do prefer long bangs and adding a few extra foils each month or so could be fun.

This is more like what I used to have. I like it, but the style is a ways off for me. I think the shorter style above would look nice in this colour even.

This is me superimposed on Eva Longoria's face. It's a little more straight-laced, but I was wondering if I could have her boobs. I wonder what that would run me.

And, just for fun, I'm a Spice Girl. I LOVE this. Looks like I need to pluck the double eyebrown though, lol.