Monday, April 28, 2008

Project "Manipulation"

I have a few goals and one of them is to be able to motivate and direct others by positive influence. This article on How to Train People to Give you What You Want speaks to me. This kind of thing comes naturally to some, but to me it is often not my first (or even second) reaction. My friend has dubbed this goal as "Project Manipulation" and believes that I could have my husband eating out of my hands. Now, this isn't exactly the motivation for me, and of course, I have shared all of this with my husband so he is not an unwilling participant. In fact, I think the quantifiable goal would be to eliminate arguments at home and minutes/hours spent frustrated due to incomplete tasks.

To ellaborate on why I want to do all of this, let me first reiterate that I am, likely, a stereotypical accountant. Not really good with people and more comfortable doing things on my own. When I 'ask' for something from a co-worker, it often comes across as an order. In short, I need to work on my soft skills. So, I ask for something to be done and, once done, I will say "OK, thanks." Now, for myself, I know that if I got that response I would think that whatever I did wasn't so important and may not give it priority the next time I'm asked. Umm, yeah, my co-workers feel the same way. Try this, "Thank you so much for getting that done so quickly. Your efficiency really helps with my getting reports to management on time."

Next, I go home and my counter is clean. I think, "It should be like this all the time." and don't say anything. The next night it is teaming with dirty dishes and crumbs. I grumble and complain. My husband disappears and I miss out on his company which makes me grumble again and complain about him 'hiding' all the time. So, what would happen if I thanked him for cleaning, gave him a hug and told him how nice it was. Flip side of same coin, but how motivated would he be to take the few minutes needed to tidy the counter every day?

So, I am making this my MONDAY report. The thinning out of negativity. Right now I am simply concentrating on being thankful to others - Finding them right - and I will keep you informed on how this affects my daily life and, hopefully bring news on tasks that are getting completed (by others) without my getting upset.

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Year 2 - May 28/08-Current