Blessed Miracle

Steph, bless you for commenting yesterday. It turns out that I could pop right back up to 190 lbs and it wouldn't affect my maintenance as long as I am 152 or less at the end of 6 weeks. Guess I knew that from Swizz, but didn't want to test it.

Well, as could be expected after my premature freak-out yesterday, I lost. Does anyone really understand the scale? Not me. But, I try to analyze so here goes:

1) Sometimes your body just needs a 'shock' and I certainly provided one for it.

2) Hard to say, but maybe approx. 450g of chocolate over 3 days actually worked into my points for the week. And maybe turning down a second plate of pasta was a good thing. And maybe using tiny WW tortilla's for burritos is a good thing too.

3) I am fearful that I am currently losing more muscle than fat since I have been 2 weeks away from the gym. I do have dance/yoga tonight though. I have just got to remember that I want my 'waist' to move down another 2 inches.

4) Maybe it was just the WW Gods. I know Becky is a believer. They are usually only kind for 1 week at a time, though, so I better get planning.

When Will The Weekend End???

As you may have guessed from my title I have not recovered as nicely as I had planned. Last night I asked my husband to take all of the chocolate in the house and hide or toss it. I didn't care which, but I could NOT have it just sitting there any longer. I really thought I had THAT kind of self-control - I laugh out loud at that. It was, in truth, quite humbling to admit that I had gorged on chocolate for 3 days. Well - not from morning to night, but once a day, each day, I ate enough until I couldn't eat any more. Physically, I could eat more, but the taste was getting gross.

OK, so after a weekend of not so great meal consumption (Fri, Sat, Sun) and another weekend of disgusting chocolate consumption (Sun, Mon, Tues) I totally deserve a massive gain on the scales tonight. I have no idea what that does to maintenance. I feel so fraudulent - like I had a glimpse of the 140s (149.8 to be exact) and that put me at maintenance. I promptly went back into the 150s with a vengence. Oh my - oh my. Has this happened to anyone else?

Weekend Flop

The weekend was not so good. I knew what I was doing and did it anyway. It all started with dinner out Friday night. Dry cereal for snack, spaghetti and garlic bread with cheese was delic - it was no where near what I had planned and left me so full that I know I went over points. Saturday I was tired and slept through snack, hitting empty. I had a pb sandwich, banana and apple waiting for supper. And supper was 2 burritos with tofu sour cream. Sunday was ham dinner with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe and green beans. Sounds healthy but I got that too full feeling again. It may have come from the cocolate dog i helped eat. No, I didn't weigh the crumbs I devoured.

So, today is a new day. I'm downloading a new exercise routine that incorporates only 2 days ST per week. Also, I'll have a treadmill in my house by the end of the week and am going to quit the gym next month. The roads are getting clearer, but it's still cold. I bought a new pair of Reebok running sneakers at Athlete's World since they're going out of business in Bedford. I also bought a new pair of winter boots for next year for $20.99. I do recall that I saved $114 and spent less than that. Woohoo.

The family made the trip to church on Sunday. First time I've been there since November 2006 - we've gone to mil's church, but haven't been to ours in a long time. It was good to get back and the 4yo had fun in Sunday school. I'm hopeful the 9yo will take the scoul off her face at some point and realize that going to church isn't so bad. All of the other young girls are getting involved in alter or choir work, so I'm hopeful that she'll want to participate next year. Mark and I were both alter-helpers and carried the cross when we were young and I always enjoyed it.

Enough for today. Gotta run.

Top 'O the (Yawn) Mornin' To Ya

Well, last night was St. Patty's Day. Oh, we all looked cute. I wore a green top with leaves across the neck - not my fav, but I realized the only green top I had. Hubby also had a green top on. The 9yo dressed in dark green capris, and lime green t-shirt and fleecy. Even the 4yo decided to get in on the action, wearing her kilt-like skirt and one of her sissy's green pj tops (from Old Navy and it looked 'uber cute on her). Mark took the girls to McDs for a Happy Meal and Shamrock Shakes. When I got home he had to go to his sisters (around 45 mins away) to give her some documents for the car she bought from us and to change the headlight. He picked up some Ale on the way home (although I suspect it was Scottish).

I've never been sure why he's so into St. Patty's since his geneology is Scottish and English. Jealousy maybe? I was a McC, my mom was a Mac, and there was LeBlanc along the way, too. I feel quite justified in my fascination for all things Irish and Scottish and proud of a French heritage, albeit one that was lost (ever heard of the Acadian expulsion from Nova Scotia? My ancestors changed their last name to White so they could stay. Now je ne parlez pas francais. Although I get a wicked tan in the summer).

Are you ready for this weekend? I think I can handle it. Mil is coming up Saturday for the night and I work next Monday, so it'll be short and sweat with other distractions than stale Easter chocolate and hard jelly beans.

Weekly Goals

I used to list out a bunch of goals that I would then forget I listed until the end of the week or month. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn't. These are a little different than the "I should" goal lists of several months ago. This is more of an action plan.

GOAL #1: Spend more time with family
GOAL #2: Work towards feeling more supported at work

Lofty goals - and long-term in many cases. What am I going to do this week towards moving towards these goals?

GOAL #1
Action #1: Set alarm on work computer and leave at 5pm
Action #2: Schedule workouts during other 'interrupted' evenings (i.e. after WW meeting) or when family has other activities (i.e. during kids dance classes).
Action #3: Get kids to bed at reasonable time so that when we are together we're rested and can enjoy each other.
Action #4: Engage family in household chores. (i.e. instead of cuddling with Jess on the couch, explore/clean her room together. Take time and play games as we go - there's no hurry since it's been a mess for weeks) (i.e. #2 - help Ci with new baking/cooking recipes)

GOAL #2
Action #1: Complete Feb monthly FS and submit with notes by end of Monday (almost done)
Action #2: Request 'annual' evaluation be sceduled this week (I've been here for 16.5 months and have received little to no constructive criticism, but also no positive reinforcement - this has lead to extreme frustration on my part).
Action #3: Request mentor to guide on how to become more efficient/effective (this had also been requested at interview in Oct 2006).

We'll call this stuff mental health improvement. The physical health reserve has taken a nose-dive the past couple of weeks. What is WRONG with me? Wait - Don't answer that.

So, the nasty scale is up again this morning. Swiss Chalet on Saturday night may not have been the right choice. I must check points on chicken soup and chicken pot pie. Good news: no BLTs of french fries, pizza or fried chicken from the other 4 at the table. FF (full fat) ice cream for dessert last night, even though in a tiny bowl, may have also been the wrong choice. Husband packed lunch this morning and told me it was ONLY 1C rice and 1.5-2C chili right after I got off the scale. He got a quick and dirty lesson in rice and chili points and re-packed my lunch ASAP. I MAY have been a little over-the-top with my explanation, but after what I'd just witnessed on the scale, I think my reaction was justified. ONLY 1C - HA! 1/2C is a splurge for me, big boy!

We were visiting mil this weekend. She did enjoy dinner Saturday evening, but later took an angina attack. It was a late night and the ambulance took her to the hospital around midnight. She is fine now and came home around noon Sunday. Very tired when we left last night. Ci is worried for her and thinks someone needs to move in. I told her Aunt E is trying to sell her house so she can do just that. I realized if we weren't there that she may not have remembered to press the emergency button or would have been in too much pain to get to the phone to call E. I'm glad we were there as it was a last-minute decision to go up for the night. She is no longer in the beginning stages of dimentia, but does still know everyone. It makes me grateful for all that we have and determined to get the most out of life.

Take care and have a healthful week.

What do you WANT from this Journey

Or whatever journey you're on. I can across this great article yesterday and it really opens the door for thinking about goal setting in a new way. Why go for lbs lost when you can determine what it is you REALLY want. For me, it was energy. I'm working on my new goals, but need to determine the TRUE goal behind it. WHY do I feel the need to continue with working out, cleaning the clutter in my house and why am I considering career changes (not necessarily a job change, but a long-term career switch)? I'm more messed up than ya'll know.

According to David Wood, "The "Things We Chase" list often includes: money, fame/recognition, sex, power/responsibility, achievement, big house/car, more time.
The "Things we REALLY want" list often includes: love, intimacy, adventure, peace, security, creativity/expression and freedom.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but why chase the things that aren't what we really want. Why not spend our valuable time doing things that will bring ourselves closer to our true goals. For me, the thought of getting into a 2-piece bathing suite is nice, but it's not my 'goal'. It may be a result of achieving other goals, but it's not my true goal. Why do I want this then? I'm guessing acceptance - being able to go to the pool and have fun with my kids without feeling self-conscious.

Take care.

Thursday Thoughts

Coming in to work today was one of those beautiful experiences. The trees were snow-covered and the sides of the roads only had a bit of brown, the black marks covered in white. The sky was grey. I love mornings like this, when the dirty results of driving and general spring are covered in a glorious attempt by winter to hang on. It's a beautiful clean-up by mother nature before the muck of spring comes Marching in.

Don't get me wrong - I like spring. Late spring. I hate the brown, dead look everything takes on in the transition to spring. Here in Nova Scotia it also rains and rains and everything is just mucky and damp. In fact, for those who have wood stoves, spring is one of the most beneficial times to use them to take the dampness out of the house. As a winter lover, I always enjoy the season giving it's all to stick around an extra few days.

Scale was up a bit last night. Might have been a change in clothes, or not. It's up to 151, so for this week I'm back to focusing on planning and points. 25 per day - I jotted down my menus for the next few days waiting for meeting to start last night. So far, so good.

I have to Share

Are you trying to lose, but end up maintaining?

Do you find yourself taking a bite of this, a lick of that, just a taste of the other?

Even if you don't maybe you're 'mindless' about it. I know I was. Even healthy BLTs add up.

This post by Corinne at PnP will shed new light - at least it did for me. I'm not as bad as the scenario she set out, but at least once a day over the past week I have stopped and caught myself - often with spoon for hand-held morsel half way to mouth. Instead of BLTing, plan to eat a few carrots during clean-up, or chew some minty gum during food prep. Even healthy BLTs add up.

March Break and Upcoming Foodies

Well, this is March Break and we're down to 1 car until later in the week. I took the LO to daycare today. Yesterday I let her stay home since she was as exhausted as everyone else and I thought it wouldn't hurt her. She had a lot of fun with Daddy and Sissy. She told me all about how Sissy had put sprinkes on her face and how she looked 'weyard'. They were basically full of *iss and vinegar last night.

We ended up going to the grocery, pharmacy, dollar store and tried at the discount store, but they were closed. Allowances are burning a hole right through someone's little purse and she just couldn't find 'IT' - the thing worth spending that money on.

So, my plans for the gym took a back seat. I'll get there tonight though, I hope. I've a hair appointment. Just a trim, but it'll be a first step towards my new look. Oh, measurements - here goes:

I've lost 4.25 inches in each of January and February. Kind of funny when I look at them though, because I consider the bust and rib cage losses the same losses since they're so close - you know - back fat. This is good, though, and I'll take it. I think my waist is slowly moving. The waist is measured at the smallest spot, which isn't necessarily where you think it is. I think of waist as, when you look in the mirror straight-on that part that indents the most. Not so for me. I need to look in the mirror from the side and it's that part just above where the belly starts to protrude. This is still around an inch above where the sides are smallest, so as this number changes, hopefully the location being measured will change, too.

Also, new goal for a reduced BFI (or Body Fat index). As near as I can figure, the 'healthy' range for this runs parallel to BMI (Body Mass index), but has more to do with muscle content in the body. As of Sunday:

BMI: 24

BFI: 25.3

I had set my goal for BFI at 22, but am thinking just to try and lower it 1 point at a time. So, while 22 is a long-term goal, I am going to work first towards a BFI of 24. I also have a waist goal of 28 inches. There - it's out there.

I don't think Easter is going to be so tough. I plan on indulging in a green beer next Monday, and maybe some green eggs for breakfast. Not sure if I'm up for the traditional fare, and since hubby and I rarely get out together I can't see us getting to visit some of the metro establishments. As for Easter, so far the cream-filled eggs haven't bothered me in the least. My biggest problem is when bite-sized pieces end up lying around. Although I had a chat with everyone and told them that the other day. Last night the 9yo informed me that they were 'helping me out' and that they had hidden the latest creation of chocolate macaroons (or haystacks, or frogs, whatever you call them, they're yummy). So I'm hopeful that gentle reminders will keep the BLT's at bay. And that's all today kiddies. Hope you're having a great week.

Spring Ahead

This weekend was all about moving the clocks ahead an hour. Is anyone else falling asleep at their desk today?

It's clouded over, but there's definately a different feel to the sunshine lately. A more direct glow and it's working for me. After a couple of nights sleep I'll be able to enjoy it more.

We're having a bit of a BLT challenge at PnP this month. I never considered myself much of a BLTer, but let me tell you - when you're conscious of it something pops up (or in) every day. The penalty for licking the pb off the jar or gobbling up that scoop of left-over KD - your choice of pop-squats or push-ups. I haven't had to do any yet, but have caught myself with hand on way to mouth almost daily to pop some nutritionally empty off-plan nugget in there.

OK, the work-out plan for this week. I'm hoping my brain stays functioning long enough to plan my menu this week - something I should have done yesterday.

Monday: Lwr Body ST and 20 minute cardio
Tuesday: 50 minute cardio
Wednesday: Day off (and week 1 of maintenance weigh-in)
Thursday: Dance/yoga
Friday: Upper body ST and 20 minute cardio
Saturday: Lwr Body ST and 20 minute cardio
Sunday: Day off

Day 1 of Maintenance

Thank you so much for all of your kind words. Reaching goal is very surreal right now, especially since I'm already moving on with my next big goal. Yup, I want a BFI of 22. Right now it juggles around the 25 mark, depending on a number of factors, I suppose. I want it to read closer to 22. I am also going have to take more pictures. I've taken a couple over the past few weeks and will be sure to get some uploaded soon.

Nothing much different about Thursday than there was about Wednesday. I realized after I tallied the last of my journal that I only ate 23 points yesterday. It was a busy night - with Mom's van I have to do most of the driving and so I needed to pick J up from daycare, go home, drive Ci to dance (luckily another mother offered to drive her home), went to the grocery to pick up a couple of things (with Mark house-tied for the next while he can't go himself - bummer), including a pack of sushi as I was getting beyond and knew it (gobbled that up in the parking lot), home for some veggies and a protein shake (just because), changed and went to dance.

A small part of me almost blew off class last night because I was so tired, but I knew that I would be so much happier if I went. We did a fast-paced jazz dance and yoga was some really good stretching - I think she called it Ying. We even did some mantra at the end of class, so it was kind of hokey-pokey, but very enjoyable.

Tonight I'm going to hit the gym for upper body after supper. I think I'll try out the evil elliptical again afterwards and can hopefully stay up on it for more than 5 minutes this time.

She Shoots, She Scores!

A tribute to Canada's favourite passtime. Can we draw a parallel to scoring and reaching goal? What? Goal, you say!

HELLO! My name is Candace and I'm at GOAL!!!

Actually, the whole thing is rather surreal. I didn't expect to reach goal tonight and was rather surprised that the scale read 149.8

I need to thank everyone who has ever left a comment here or inspirational post or comment on other sites. I guess now we start into maintenance phase. Lose 1 pt for dropping another 10 and gain 4 pts for reaching goal. I'm not sure how this ties into my whole wanting to continue to lose weight, but I also know I have to get back to dance tomorrow.

I would like to let you all know that I had, in essence, already achieved my greatest reward last weekend. Several meetings ago we were asked to close our eyes and envision what we thought goal would look like. It could be a bathing suite, new outfit, whatever. All I could see was a night sky with the word 'ENERGY' across it in sparkly letters. Last weekend I mentioned about our walk in the Glen while visiting at my mothers. 36 lbs ago I would have settled into the bench near the start of the walking path and told the kids to play in the field. The walk was up and down hills and through the woods, down by the marsh and back up to the start. I not only had the energy to finish the walk, but also to carry approximately 50 lbs extra during the last stretch of hill. This is the ultimate gift for me, but I'd like to thank WW for the lovely silver star as well. I will carry it on my WW key chain proudly.

Positivityolutely vs. Suckidyduckidy

Or as Mouse would list it, the Good, Bad and Ugly. I'll steal her format.

Good: Went to my mothers this weekend for a relaxing weekend
Bad: It stormed, we stayed an extra day and I missed work Monday
Ugly: On my way out of town the car broke down via catalatic converter and wire issues via fire under the hood

Good: The fire did go out on its own
Bad: The RCMP drove us back to Mom's
Ugly: The girls and I running down the road and me freaking out

Good: Mom loaned me her van so I could get to/from work and took care of the car
Bad: Mom's van is a gas guzzler
Ugly: I live several km's from work highway in what I affectionately refer to as commuterville

Good: The car was easily fixed and for ONLY $160
Bad: There are more storms this week and weekend so I don't know when I can get it back
Ugly: I just spent $700 on safety inspection last Friday

Good: I got in one good exercise session on Saturday while I was at Mom's
Bad: I wasn't up to doing anything else and haven't worked out since
Ugly: My food hasn't been stellar either

Good: I took the kids to a wildlife sanctuary for a wonderful winter walk
Bad: We walked too far and they both got tired. I piggy-backed the 4yo and carried the 9yo's jacket for the last leg
Ugly: I think the rough road on the way to the sanctuary is what knocked the wires that caused the car problems